Sons of Empire!

An informative Pictograph concerning chiefly Warhammer 40,000's Legion of Illustrious Space Victorians! (Warning: Also contains divers depictions of Johnny Alien and criminal foreigners of varying sorts. Serious risk of fainting for ladies and the mentally infirm.)

Location: United Kingdom

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Some new pictorials from across our fine space empire. Firstly, a young lady consults her watch, to check that space is running according to Grenwich Mean Time.

Below, the remarkable science of "bionics" is put to splendid and subtle effect to get this noble fellow back on the field of battle. Who would guess that he was half mechanical and now almost entirely bulletproof! Unstoppable in combat and a real eye-turner at soirees: what gentleman could want more?

And Finally, below, two of his imperial majesty's stalwart servants. To the left is Sir Runcible Fairbairn, Master of Machines, equipped with his all-purpose engineering suit and his dual-purpose Differential Gauging Tool and hitting stick. On the right stands brother-captain McGonagall, whisky enthusiast and bard, threatening something with his power-claymore in a righteous, if inebriated, rage. Thus the pair join the rest of the chapter to stride forth to punt some alien posterior.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Suspicious Padre in Alien Invasion Shocker!

It is with sadness that we are obliged to inform you that there are malcontents within our empire. What, you cry, who could such people be? Well, good reader, it is time to warn your cocoa and put down your wife, and hear the Truth.

The individuals below are part of a sinister cult seeking to infiltrate our cities. By handing out tracts, loitering at corners and devouring passers-by, such types aim for nothing less than the destruction of all we hold dear. Note, if you will, the monstrous features of the creatures below, poorly hidden beneath their robes. Vast braincases, purple skin, glowing eyes, multiple clawed limbs - that is right, dear reader, these people are From Abroad.


What can be done about this space-menace? Are our beloved slums doomed? Fear not. The insidious alien cultists can be detected before the infiltrate our world, largely because they are aliens. Also, they are allergic to gin.

Keep an eye out for suspicious types!


These are aliens too.


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Charge, Space Hussars!

Unless you are either criminally insane or French, the picture below will surely fill your heart with glee. Below we see several dashing gentlemen of His Imperial Majesty's Space Hussars, boldly riding against rumness in the name of civilisation. It is proven via Science that a good cavalry charge will turn any foe's guts to water, and that the movement of the steed is proof against firearms and foreign trickery alike.

Here, Private Plimpton prepares to blast the enemy with a plasma repeater. Note the state-of-the-cottage-industry equine accelerator at the rear of the horse, which to the untrained eye resembles a barrel with a little chimney.

And here, Major Effington activates the assault nozzle on his mighty cybernetic steed whilst rushing towards the enemy guns. That's the spirit.


We hope to be able to bring you further revelations in the weeks to come. Until then, wash your hands and abstain from Beastliness. Or you'll die.

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Death from Below!

Once again, it is time for the galaxy's foremost space-Victorian-related weblog. After a brief hiatus during which the editorial staff were busy with gin, floozies and laudanum, we can return to our symposium and consider new weapons of war against the alien.

Pictured below is a marvellous tunnelling device, used to insert squads of bold ether-soldiers behind the enemy's lines. Imagine the surprise of Johnny Moonman when this monster drives up from under into his rear echelon! Spin on that, foe of Britain!


Also pictured below is Edward Two Hundred and Nine, a warbot used in the storming of Verdigris. Thanks to the finest in preservative technology, the depicted machine is steered by the brain of an otherwise-deceased marine, preserved in a complex chemical solution previously used only for frogs and gherkins. Note the attractive decorative work and optional trophy heads. Attack!


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Sunday, July 08, 2007

Lovely Buildings (this article certified as suitable for ladies)

As any reader with a fragment of intellect will know, it is not simply the goal of the Sons of Empire to thrash the upstart alien in battle – although by golly they are good at doing so. Once the garbling, tentacled foe has been sufficiently pummelled, he must be helped rise to civilisation, generally by having “his” land occupied and managed by decent, proper folk.

In order to carry out this important task, the borders of the Empire are protected by forts very much like the one you see below. This is Sons of Empire outpost 203. As can be seen, the outpost is made of solid brick and steel, and has lifting facilities, air filtration systems, an autocannon and a privy on the roof.

Inside, we can see that there is a workshop on the ground floor, where weapons and armour are prepared, and a restroom, where fellows can gather and swap stories of bold combat in a wholesome, manly atmosphere. Note the trophies, taken from a wide range of (now) obscure alien fauna. Ladies are of course not allowed.

Power for the outpost is provided by pumping stations like the one you see here. This station draws water and energy from the local well, and stores it ready for war, peace and even hygiene. Clean, modern and efficient, buildings like this stand out among – and often on top of – the rude huts and ugly concrete lumps that aliens create.

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Dear Prudence

Our readers will no doubt recall the three-legged alien horror revealed in our previous instalment. How, one might ask, could such a terrible device be halted? Surely such a titanic war engine could stride through a human city at will, looting and wrecking with the ghastly abandon of a pauper looking for a "knees up"?

In which case, ladies and gentlemen, look no further. Be of good cheer and behold Prudence, the Leviathan-class main battle landship.

The Leviathan carries two twin-linked laser cannons on its side, which have already proved invaluable in destroying the poorly-constructed fortifications of the dastardly Moon-man. The roof turret sports a pair of large Maxim cannons, ideal for dishing out a bit of no good to Johnny Moonlander, should he choose to make a close attack. In addition, the Leviathan can seat ten stout-hearted soldiers, who can provide extra locomotion by pushing it should its highly-reliable atom engine fall becalmed.

Everywhere Prudence goes she is greeted with awe by our enemies and cheers of approval by our stalwart citizens. At her frontage aliens throw down their weapons and beg clemency. Behind her follows a stream of urchins, eager to seize the glowing atom-coals as they fall out of the reactor, to sell them off on their barrows later on. God bless the Empire!

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Sunday, May 20, 2007

Johnny Alien sighted!

We are pleased to be the first to announce the glimpsing of a new and apparently sentient form of life on Woking 4. The being we see to the right was photoscoped by our intrepid wildlife correspondent, Hadley Rickshaw, who intends to kill it and have it stuffed at the first opportunity.

We will provide updates as to this fascinating race as soon as possible. In the meantime, the Imperial Space Fleet stands ready to civilise them all.

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Saturday, May 19, 2007

It lives! Again!

Once again, our Science correspondent, Mycroft Ogilvy, writes the following - or, rather, raves it through an enormous metal funnel:

"Unlike others in this dark and forbidding age, the Sons of Empire believe firmly in the progress that technology brings. This means that a soldier can rely on bigger guns to wield and, should he fall, more enthusiastic and innovative surgeons to stitch him back together, usually during a thunderstorm.

"Take for instance marines Cartwright, Smedley and Hawkins. Hit by a plasma cannon, they were scattered so throughly as to form one jumbled pile. But did this deter our surgeons? Not one jot! Using gumption, pluck and string, Apothecary Moreau was able to amalgamate the best bits of the three bold fellows and create one superlative whole, as the pictograph shows, ennervating him with a blast of electricity through the tesla coils. So keen was the resulting creature to get back to battle that it punched through the laboratory wall and assaulted three technicians on the way out.

"So, citizens, fear not. Should an enemy injure you, Science will be there to make amends to you. Or amendments. A little off the top, Sir?"

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Monday, March 12, 2007

An Alien Ruse Uncovered!

Good day, dear readers!

Here we see - or don't see - the depths of perfidiousness and bad sportsmanship to which the enemies of our beloved Space Empire are prepared to sink. Pictured below, rendered in high-definition Kinoscope, is an alien sharpshooter preparing to draw a bead on passing citizens.

But where? one might ask. Look again, dear readers, and marvel at the low cunning of the foreign blighter: he is actually crouched on the very branch, rifle raised. Is that not the very epitome of base conduct? This is a ruthless and crafty enemy who will stop at nothing; the sort of man who nails the bail to the stumps while everyone else is in the pavilion, taking tea.

Be assured that shortly after this picture was taken, one of our chaps crept up behind him and stabbed him in the back. That'll teach the bugger.

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Friday, December 15, 2006

Salvos of Steam!

After a brief trip away to take the waters and have his choler ventilated, your narrator is pleased to rejoin you once again in order to reveal yet another miracle of our electric age.

We cannot profess any particular expertise in the design of his Majesty's landships, but it seems clear that armour + cannons + big chimneys can only equate to glorious success and the enlargement of the Empire. Consequentially we predict only glory for the mighty instrument reproduced below: the "Whirlwind" self-propelled multiple cannonet.

The large steam chimneys enable it to be spotted from afar, filling the devious heart of Johnny Alien with fear before combat begins. The rack of light artillery-pieces mounted on the roof enable closely-packed hordes of gibbering infantry to be civilised en masse before they have the chance to close and do any funny business with their primitive weaponry. All that's currently missing from this fine machine is a selection of captured aliens stuck to the front.

Those readers particularly enamoured of armoured vehicles will be pleased to note that the entire Sons of Empire landship collection is now available as a series of cigarette cards available in packs of Stalwart filter-tips, price 2 bob. These make an ideal present for any red-blooded boy, and the cards are quite pleasant too.

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